


He Couldn't Be More Wrong

by FoggedFantasy



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Fluff, Johnny Cade and Dallas Winston Live, Johnny Cade in a wheelchair, M/M, Prison mention, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:08:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29725326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoggedFantasy/pseuds/FoggedFantasy
Summary: Instead of dying, Johnny Cade and Dallas Winston survive. Johnny has just gotten out of prison and is struggling with living life being paralyzed. Dallas refuses to let him struggle with it alone and reassures him that paralyzed or not, he is important and worthy of everything everyone else is.
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	He Couldn't Be More Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, there is use of the word cripple in reference to Johnny. Additionally, as a disclaimer, the self-worth issues are centered around Johnny not being able to use his legs. He doesn't speak to himself in a nice way, and it's not what one would call PC nowadays, but I went for realism on this in hopes to respect the time and the struggles disabled people did go through without sugar-coating it and pretending it's okay.

Johnny waited outside of the prison, gently tapping the wheel of his wheelchair with his left hand. He was still getting used to being crippled, but at the very least his gang hadn’t given up on him. Dally, in particular, had not given up on him, and Johnny was delighted to find that Dally had sent him as many letters as he could, though in one of the letters Dally had threatened to do something to join Johnny and Johnny had to tell him not to commit a crime. They would see each other soon enough.

Well, that day had come. Dally promised to pick Johnny up. He had spent about 10 months in the cooler, and it was hard. He didn’t know how Dally could do things that made prison his revolving door, but Johnny had always been softer than Dally. He was endlessly relieved when Dally’s car pulled up. Johnny began wheeling himself over. Dally was relieved to see he looked healthier than the last time he had seen Johnny, but in all fairness, they had tried him right after he got out of the hospital. At least now he had some color to his cheeks.

Dally blinked once Johnny had reached the curb, he went over, pulling him into a hug first. It wasn’t the hug he wanted to give, it was a tough man’s hug- cold and impersonal, but at least he got to hold him for a few seconds without sacrificing his reputation. Johnny hugged back, reluctant to let Dally go when he wanted to pull away. Secretly, Dally wished he wouldn’t let go. 

“Is there anything special I need to do?” Dally asked Johnny, opening the passenger’s-side door after he broke their hug.

“Um, well,” Johnny frowned anxiously. He hated to be a bother, but getting in would be difficult work, especially with the spacing of the car and the raised curb. He would have to risk a fall if Dally didn’t move the car or carry him and set him in the seat.

“Spit it out,” Dally said sternly, as though his time were being wasted. He didn’t want Johnny to hesitate to tell him what he needed, but he couldn’t just have a heart-to-heart like that out in the open.

“With where the curb is and the car is, I can’t really get in without potentially falling, and if I fall it will be hard for me to get up into a good position again. I also will need you to fold the wheelchair and put it in the back or wherever once I’m done getting in.”

“Okay,” Dally said, not phased. “There’s not really a good curb around here to let you get in, though. Can I just pick you up and put you in?”

Johnny blinked, relieved a little bit that he wouldn’t have to try to get in at all. Even in ideal circumstances, it was still tricky for him to maneuver from his chair to something else. “If that’s okay with you… Sorry, Dally.” He couldn’t help but feel guilty for inconveniencing Dally. He  _ especially _ didn’t want to inconvenience Dally. He lov- he- he really li- he really  _ really _ liked Dally. If he pushed him away by causing him trouble, he would be sure to mourn the loss of one of his best friends.

“What are you apologizing for, Johnnycake?” Dally lifted the smaller male up, gently setting him in the passenger’s seat as though he were as fragile as porcelain. “You ain’t heavy,” he commented, as though checking off that reason from a list. Dally folded the chair, putting it in the back along with a bag of Johnny’s things, most notably Dally’s letters folded neatly in the mesh pocket of the bag.

Johnny took a deep breath, his cheeks hot as he realized just how close to Dally he had just been. “I- I just didn’t want to trouble you is all, especially on account of me being a cripple.”

“Yeah, well next time don’t go into a burning building if you don’t want to trouble me, Christ, Johnny,” Dally huffed, closing the doors gently before getting in the driver’s side. “Be ready for a big night,” he warned, beginning to drive.

Johnny blinked. “I don’t think I’ll do that stunt again. Wouldn’t be much help.”

“Yeah, well... Thank God you recovered. Had us all terrified, fucking Hell, Johnny. We didn’t know that you’d make it.”

“I didn’t either,” Johnny said. “I was arranging my stuff in case I died. But even if I had died, it would’ve been worth it to save those poor kids.”

Dally looked at him angrily, as though he was crazy. It caused him to stop a little too harshly at a stop sign, lurching both of them forward. Johnny didn’t mention it. Dally opened his mouth. He so desperately wanted to ask if it would have been worth both of their lives, but that would be admitting that he couldn’t live without Johnny, and because he couldn’t live without Johnny he couldn’t take that risk. “That was stupid. You didn’t know they were in there.” He settled on.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you, Dal…” Johnny said softly, hypersensitive to anger in people, especially when they were directly interacting with him. Years of abuse had left him with hypervigilant, wary eyes. They only stopped looking for danger when he slept, and Johnny couldn’t help that right now they wondered if Dally would be a threat. He knew logically that no one in the gang wanted to hurt him, but Dally looked angry.

Dally glanced over, frowning. He sighed, going back to driving. “It-” well, it was his fault, but… “It ain’t a big deal.” He said. He hated when Johnny was scared, he had lived too much of his life in fear and Dally wanted it to stop. So he hated himself for making Johnny scared. “Don’t tell no one this, okay?”

Johnny nodded quickly. “I’ll keep any secret.”

“I’m sorry, Johnny. I didn’t mean to get mad, I just was scared is all. Life would never be the same without you.”

“Oh…” Johnny was shocked. He hadn’t expected Dally of all people to apologize when it was him causing the problem. He paused.  _ Life would never be the same without you _ \- the words echoed in his head and he closed his eyes for a moment, taking a breath. “I’m sorry I-”

“Don’t apologize. This is my fault,” Dally interjected.

Johnny blinked. “Right,” he said sheepishly. “Well… I didn’t mean to scare you- or worry you or whatever I did,” he said quickly. He looked down, fiddling with his hands anxiously. “I’m glad it wasn’t my time. I missed y’all. I woulda been heartbroken if I was all alone waiting for y’all for another 60 odd years or whatever it ended up being.”

Dally refrained from telling him that he wouldn’t have to wait very long for him, because he didn’t want Johnny to worry and, again, he couldn’t admit that he couldn’t live without Johnny. “Well… it wasn’t your time. Now we need to get you to your 60 odd years without you tryna cut it short doing something stupid. To start, you’re moving in with me.”

“Dally, I don’t have a job yet.”

“I don’t care, I can provide for you. You ain’t going back to your parents,” Dally said stubbornly.

“I can sleep in the lot, Dally, I might not be able to get a job too easy. No one wants to hire a cripple.”

“You ain’t sleeping in the lot. I’m taking you in. I said I’d provide for you and I will. I’m working full-time now.”

“Dally, I’d just be a burden on you, there’s some care that I need that is gross and difficult too, and you don’t want to get tied up in that.”

“How are you gonna get that care if not for me, Johnny? I can provide for us. It’ll be okay. I said I wanted to and I do. So just accept it, alright? I’m helping you.”

Johnny frowned, cringing in on himself. “I just- I- you’re right… I just didn’t want you to see me like that is all… or be troubled by me or have to do something disgusting because I can’t take care of myself.” He took a shaky breath. He hated this, he felt like he was just going to be a burden now.

“Well… I don’t mind helping… at least, not if it’s you. You’re worth all the effort I put in and more, okay, Johnnycake? Just remember that.” Dally gently took one of his hands, and Johnny squeezed it, craving the physical touch from someone who cared for him. “I ain’t going nowhere, because there’s nowhere I want to be more than with you.”

Johnny blushed again, looking out the window to attempt to hide it. “I… I’m glad. I like being with you too, Dal. Just… I mean I’m glad I’m worth the effort, but I don’t want to be a source of pain for you.”

“Johnnycake, you ain’t never gonna be a source of pain unless I lose you. So don’t even think for a second I ain’t glad to be with you. Hell, the whole gang’s ecstatic just waiting for us to arrive because they missed you so much.” Ponyboy was especially a pain in the ass as it had gotten nearer to Johnny getting out, and it annoyed Dally, but he related as well. That, paired with the fact that Darry could probably tie him into a pretzel, was why Dally didn’t bother Ponyboy about it. He’d let the kid be excited and show it for the both of them. Fuck, though, 15 and he was still so naive. “There’s no way you’ll ever be a pain. Don’t think like that,” Dally added finally.

Johnny smiled slightly, sheepishly rubbing his leg with his free hand. It was weird to not feel his hand still, but he was sure he’d adjust. He sighed, letting out some pressure. “Thanks, Dally… I’m real lucky to have you.”

Dally looked away quickly, knowing his pale skin would show his blushing easily.  _ Damn it, Johnny, right before a party, too _ . Dally squeezed his hand, ignoring his pounding heart. “It’s nothing, Johnny, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you hang around me.”  _ You give me something to hope for- an idea of a future worth living for. _ He ignored his thought as best as he could, refusing to say something so sappy when he didn’t know where Johnny stood about him.

Johnny smiled. “Well,” he began, feeling much more at peace, “I like spending time with you, and I guess I’ll get to spend more time, so… That’s good,” he settled on. He was happy about this development. He ran his thumb over the back of Dally’s hand, looking out the window as he looked, and found, in relief, that nothing much had changed- externally, at least.

Dally was relieved that Johnny wasn’t looking at him anymore because when he ran his thumb over his hand Dally couldn’t help but melt. He had really missed Johnny too much. “Yeah.”

The rest of the car ride was silent, Johnny savoring his last seconds of solitude before the party or Dally’s promised “big night”. Dally let him, and only silently took his hand back to turn and when he parked. Johnny couldn’t help but be relieved it was at the Curtis’s.

And he couldn’t help but smile as he saw Ponyboy race out of the house. He threw open the car door as Dally got out, giving Johnny a tight hug. Johnny hugged back. He was glad to see Ponyboy in person. He wouldn’t have to consult a dictionary if his word choice exceeded Johnny’s knowledge. He rubbed Ponyboy’s back, letting him nuzzle into him.

“Are you okay?” He whispered in Johnny’s ear.

Johnny smiled. “Right now I’m great, and… I think I’m going to be just fine with Dally helping me,” he whispered back. “I missed you,” he added.

Ponyboy squeezed him, kissing his cheek sneakily. He thought nothing of it, especially since it soothed his urge to express platonic affection to Johnny. “I missed you too.”

Dally cleared his throat after getting the wheelchair. They were certainly close. He almost wished he had the boldness to do what Ponyboy could do, but he also knew that came with the honesty of it being platonic, not to mention, innocent.

Ponyboy reluctantly let go, after one last squeeze. He had so much to ask! But he supposed those questions would be best for one-on-one time, which wouldn’t come tonight. Everyone was too excited that the gang would all be back together. Or perhaps it was that the most important member of the gang was back. Either way, the gang was all going to want to spend the night together and with Johnny.

Dally put Johnny in his chair, closing and locking the car up. “You want me to push you?”

“Not unless there’s an incline,” Johnny responded, looking at Ponyboy. “Hey,” he said.

“Yeah?” Pony asked, tilting his head at Johnny.

Johnny smiled. “You’re still gold, right?” He asked.

Dally furrowed his brow, confused. He waited, though, because he had no intention of going in without Johnny.

Ponyboy gave a sheepish smile. “I… I still watch sunsets. It’s been hard without you, and I don’t think I’m as innocent as I was a year ago, but… I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’m at least a little gold.”

Johnny chuckled. “I ain’t asking you to stay innocent forever, that ain’t what I mean. I just- I want you to keep the innocence that loves stories and sunsets and your family. You dig?”

Ponyboy nodded, rubbing his arm. “I kept that,” he said softly.

Johnny patted his arm. “Keep keeping it,” he responded, before wheeling his way to the house. There was a step, but it was covered in a makeshift ramp.

“You want me to help?” Dally asked when he approached it.

Johnny squinted at it. He hoped it was sturdy… “Maybe just keep your hands on the handles just in case?” It didn’t look that steep.

“Sure, Johnnycake,” Dally said, obliging.

Ponyboy opened the door helpfully, although it hadn’t been shut properly in his haste. Johnny wheeled himself in, surprised the ramp was good. It was a pleasant relief.

As soon as he did, Sodapop called his name, and he was crushed into a tight hug. The gang each gave a turn giving a good, tight hug, except for Darry whose hug was gentle and light. Likely because with his strength he didn’t want to do more damage.

The party began, them all talking, doing dares, and playing stupid games. They had a giant feast of a meal, too, and since it had been a while since Johnny had had good food, he scarfed it down so eagerly Darry told him to slow down. It really was good food, though, and it was a meal Johnny would remember. Besides that, there wasn’t any alcohol this time, Darry wouldn’t allow the stuff around Ponyboy or Sodapop, but they were all getting drunk off of life, so it didn’t matter.

Johnny didn’t remember how the night ended, he remembered it was calm, they were talking, and he was tired. He woke up in a bed, Dally resting beside him, cuddled up to him. Johnny watched him silently. He did look younger when he slept, but not much. Even so, he wouldn’t report this back to Ponyboy, because Dally’s image was more important than some weird theory. He thought about what must have happened and determined that he must be in Dally’s apartment, with Dally being the culprit who brought him in and tucked him in. 

He also thought about this place. He could only guess that it was Buck’s apartment- a two-bedroom. He had been to the place a few times, but never to the bedrooms. If this wasn’t Buck’s apartment, he didn’t know where they were, but he guessed it was Dally’s home. He also supposed that if it were a two-bedroom, it made sense why they were sharing the bed. He knew if Dally was planning to house and feed him that he’d be saving up, and another mattress would not be a priority. Johnny didn’t mind. He may have to get some self-control, though, because he didn’t know how long he had been staring at Dally, but it had been awhile. He liked seeing him so peaceful, though.

Johnny only managed to look to the window in time to not be caught staring because Dally groaned, wiping his eyes as he coaxed himself into the conscious world.

“Hey, Johnnycake,” he greeted, his voice deep with sleep.

Johnny’s stomach became jelly to hear his voice like that. “Hey, Dally,” he said softly, not realizing that made Dally’s stomach jelly in return.

“What’s the morning routine?” He asked casually, as though he weren’t having trouble keeping calm.

“Um…” Johnny looked down. “I need help dealing with bathroom stuff,” he said awkwardly.

“Alright then,” Dally got up, pulling the wheelchair close. “Can you get in?”

“Yeah,” Johnny got in, and thus began the first morning routine they shared, with Dally learning exactly what he needed to help with and how to do it. Johnny was grateful it went smoothly because he wouldn’t know how to handle it if Dally was less supportive or- or even more of a jokester like Two-Bit. After that was finished, they had a simple breakfast.

“Did you bring me home?” Johnny asked, recognizing the kitchen and living room as Buck’s apartment.

“Yeah, you fell asleep,” Dally explained. “Sorry if I surprised ya, only got the one bed right now.”

“That’s fine,” Johnny said, waving his hands. “I don’t mind.”

Dally gave a little smile. “Okay. Now don’t expect a free ride. I expect you to help out where you can.”

“Good,” Johnny said, glad he could be a little independent, not to mention help do something for Dally.

Thus began their new lives together, Johnny helping Dally when he could while Dally took care of and provided for him. It was all very comfortably monotonous once they got into a routine, at least for the next 2 months.

On that special, life-changing date, the morning routine stayed the same, spare one thing. “Don’t make plans tonight,” Dally had said. “But I need you to come home at 7. Don’t eat. I have a surprise.”

“So stay out until 7, and then come home?” Johnny confirmed.

Dally nodded. “I’ll be looking to help you inside then, so don’t be late.”

Johnny nodded. “I won’t be,” he promised and kept it.

At 7, Johnny was brought inside by Dally, who had cooked a mean chicken parmesan. Or at least that’s what Johnny had said. Anything Dally did that was good tended to be mean. It was kind of funny.

“Johnny,” Dally said, meeting his eyes. “I did make this dinner for a reason.”

Johnny held his gaze, letting icy blue eyes chill him to his core. “Okay,” he said steadily, his stomach twisting in knots.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Dally stalled, taking a deep breath. He felt almost nauseous with nerves, but he refused to back down. He had waited for this for so long. “I get if it makes you uncomfortable, too, but I have to give this a chance.”

“Why would it make me uncomfortable?” Johnny asked.

“It’s abnormal,” Dally explained vaguely.

“I don’t think being abnormal would make me uncomfortable. I think we’re all kinda abnormal.”

“Not like this.”

“Well… shoot anyway. I won’t tell no one.”

Dally couldn’t help but be relieved he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else finding out. “Johnny... I wanted to ask you if you’d be my boyfriend. I… I really care about you- more than anyone or anything else. And I guess I just wanna make this permanent.”

Johnny was shocked at what he was hearing, to the point that he couldn’t help but blurt out, “what?”

Dally waited for a moment, and, realizing that Johnny was serious, he repeated himself.

Johnny shook his head. “No, you don’t want me- I’m a cripple, Dal. You can do better than a cripple.”

Dally looked away from him for a moment, restricting the rage at hearing Johnny say that. He couldn’t be more wrong. “Is there another reason?”

“I- I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“You’re not a burden, you’re a blessing. I don’t know how many times I have to say that I’m not put off by you being crippled for you to understand, but if I have to keep repeating it I will. Just… just,” Dally took a deep breath.”Tell me, do you care about me like that?” He met those dark black eyes again.

Johnny’s cheeks warmed as he tried to take in the information. He furrowed his brow. “I do, but-”

“Then give me a chance, Johnny, please,” Dally pleaded.

“I don’t want you to be stuck with me.”

“Being with you is an opportunity, Johnny.” He paused, looking at him. “Johnny... I want to make you understand how much I care about you, okay?” Dally honestly was keen on that in hopes that Johnny would stop this and accept his love if he understood how much he needed him. That being said, he wasn’t keen on admitting this.

Johnny nodded. “Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath with nerves. He owed Dally a chance of hearing him out at least.

“I couldn’t live without you.”

The words pierced Johnny’s heart. “Oh, Dal, don’t say that- I know you could. You’re tough.”

“Johnny, I’m serious. I can’t live without you. I-” his voice faltered for a moment. “I love you. You’re- I don’t love, Johnny. I don’t love, except for you. I think my heart’s been broken too many times, but I trust you. I love  _ you _ . I don’t ever want to live without love again. It’s hard. Please, give this a chance. I promise I won’t let you regret it.”

Johnny gulped, fear washing over him as he took in the words. “I don’t want you to die if I ain’t around, though, Dal. And- I still think there’s better out there for you than me.”

“I don’t want no one but you, Johnny. I only love you- it’s been years and I only love you. Fuck, I was going to die with you if you had gone. That’s just how my life is. But I was gonna die young if you hadn’t stepped in. Now I might grow old. I don’t want no one else. Please, listen when I say that. Listen to what I want, this is my life too. Give us a chance.”

Johnny listened, wringing his hands anxiously. “Well… um, if you’re sure, but I- um, it’s kind of changed my body and... “ He sighed. “If you’re not satisfied for any reason, please-  _ please _ just leave me. Okay?”

“I promise,” Dally said. “And if I’m not making you happy- please tell me.”

Johnny nodded, gulping. “Then… Then you have your chance.”

Dally lit up, and Johnny’s heart skipped a beat. He looked so handsome when he was happy. “Johnnycake?”

“Yeah?” He asked nervously.

“Can I kiss you?”

Johnny blushed, nodding awkwardly.

Dally grinned, wasting no time as he tenderly cupped his new boyfriend’s face, kissing him.

It took a few years for Johnny to truly believe there was no one better for Dallas Winston than he, but once he did, he realized just how wrong it was to base his worth in Dallas’ eyes on him being able-bodied. Dallas didn’t care as long as Johnny (and it had to be Johnny) loved him. That was the start of Johnny believing he was a worthwhile human to have around, and he took up art, using his wheelchair as a paintbrush as a message, managing to carve success for himself. Johnny’s journey of self-acceptance ended with the passage of the ADA act in 1990, when he could finally say that even the government cared about his opportunities the same as if he were able-bodied.

Dally was there with him the whole time, reassuring him of Dallas’ truth (that Johnny was worthwhile, paralyzed or not) until he finally understood it for himself. Once he did, a restless piece of Dally finally was at peace knowing that Johnny was truly okay- and knew that he was important and worthy.


End file.
